Sep 13
(Letter) Boohoo, “Laserdusche” Got Busted In Bejing For Protest (嗚嗚, “雷射B” 奧運抗議被抓)
Written by guest on Saturday, September 13th, 2008 at 2:46 am
Filed under:-guest-posts, -mini-posts | Tags:olympics, Protest, Satire
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Filed under:-guest-posts, -mini-posts | Tags:olympics, Protest, Satire
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[Sorry my Chinese is not good, but just had to share this with the Chinese readers.]
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[早沒看見此採訪. I wish I has seen this earlir.]
“When I first got put into a detention cell I thought I was going to have to fight someone like a mad man or get owned — then this guy gives me a blanket and a candy bar, and I’m thinking I’m already being made his bitch,”
“當我被放入拘留室我想我必須像狂人一樣抵抗強姦 – 然後一個人給我條毯子和糖, 我以為已經是他的母狗”
[看見太多電影? Saw one too many prison movie?]
Throughout his incarceration, Powderly survived on a hard-boiled egg for breakfast, and a bowl of rice and broth for lunch and dinner.
在他的監禁中, Powderly 早餐只有一個水煮蛋, 飯和湯當午餐, 晚餐
[嗚嗚只有一蛋 – 吉米你比那些三鹿嬰兒吃得好. Boohoo only an egg – Jimmy you ate better than those Sanlu babies.]
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September 13th, 2008 at 3:05 am
I wrote the following for fun. It is not 100% related to the article, but I like the share.
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Celebration of Olympics Bronzes
What happened?
How can we lose gold count to China, a third world country?
Let’s have a national holiday of mourning. No one objects I bet!
Let’s have a national contest of the best excuses of winning so less gold medals.
It has to be the BEST, so it could worth a gold in this category.
What to do?
Borrow more money from China to buy foreign coaches…
No Speedo to Australia and China.
My secret weapon is to import 8 Jamaican runners. Money talks!
Bribe the judges (a little harder as everyone hates us but money talks again).
Change all the rules to our favor: 5 medals for basketball, 1 for table tennis, 0 for diving…
All tiebreakers must go our way as our sponsors own the Olympics.
We will amplify their “shortcomings”:
copying our advance lip sing technique, working too hard, starting before you can walk, their security system too tight, the Chinese smiling too much…
The Chinese must have put slippery jell on our batons and/or the gym apparatus.
Develop a dope that can take out all dope traces from our body.
“One country, all medals” is our new Olympics slogan.
The more wishfully we think, the closer we succeed.
How to heal now, really?
Write to Dear Abby for starter.
Bronze is the same as gold if not better.
If you do not believe me, ask any blind person here.
It is harder to get a bronze as we have to LET two others to win.
We’ll train our athletes for the bronze from now on.
NBC should interview bronze winners only as they are the real winners.
Actually we’ll be happier to be #3 and build a better relationship with other nations.
Stop laughing. It is a fact!!!
Phelps, we love you more with 8 bronze medals – it is no easy job to let 2 and ONLY 2 pass you 8 times.
If everything does not work, turn ugly.
Ask McDonald’s and KFC to give away their “food” (better than opium) to China FREE, so their next generation will be so fat that they cannot walk to the subway station.
Send soldiers to grab the medals, esp. gold. Hey, we have the best offense.
Will the world be better if we only fought for gold medals only (bronze medals in our case)?
What an Olympic spirit to celebrate the winning of the bronze!