Mar 14

Silly Taiwan Acronyms

Written by Steve on Saturday, March 14th, 2009 at 3:54 pm
Filed under:-mini-posts, culture, General, language, media, politics | Tags:,
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Reading TonyP4’s comment this morning on the Numbers as Language thread, I noticed he used the acronym FOB meaning “Fresh Off Boat”. That reminded me of my Taiwan days and especially Catherine, one of the gals at my office in Hsinchu who was one of the funniest people with one of the driest wits I’ve ever encountered. She seemed to have an acronym for everything! So I thought it’d be fun for everyone to share the ones they know. I’ll start it off: “That stupid MBA made a pass at an MIT while married to an ABC. He’s just an IBM anyway.”

Now to translate: MBA: Married But Available, MIT: Made in Taiwan (born in Taiwan), ABC: American Born Chinese, IBM: International Big Mouth (originally used on Lee Tenghui, Lee Kwan Yew & Mahathir bin Mohamad).

Some others are BEER: Beginning Enjoy, Ending Regret, BMW: Big Mouth Wife, FBI: Female Body Inspection, NATO: No Action Talk Only, PUB: Pay Until Broke, YAHOO: You Always Have Other Options, Ph.D: Permanent Head Damage, ADIDAS: All Day I Dream About Sex.

Do you all know any others we can add to the list??

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19 Responses to “Silly Taiwan Acronyms”

  1. Pura Says:

    BBC = Blair Bush Crony

  2. TonyP4 Says:

    Dear Employees:

    Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the
    economy, Management has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of
    40 years of age and above on early retirement. This scheme will be known
    as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).

    Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to management to be considered
    for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination). Persons
    who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program
    (Scheme Covering Retired-Early Workers). A person may be RAPED once,
    SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Management deems appropriate.
    Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for
    Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel
    Early Severance).

    Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED
    any further by Management.

    The Management,


    Steve, my friend sent to me for my blog. What does SHAFT mean? Tony

    Note: The full version of Dear Employees is on Tony’s blog.

  3. TonyP4 Says:

    My friend’s daughter is going to MIT (Made In Thailand, Taiwan…). She gave a speech in her commencement on the benefits of banana: vitamins, banana leave… At the end of the speech, she, an ABC (American Born Chinese) said “I’m a banana too – yellow in the outside but white in the inside.”.

    What a pointless ego-booster!

  4. S.K. Cheung Says:

    To Tony #2:
    that’s hilarious. How long did it take you to come up with that?!?

    The ones I’ve heard recently are NSFW (not suitable for work) and TMI (too much info). Admittedly not nearly as funny as TOny’s.

  5. TonyP4 Says:

    This is circulated to me from my elementary classmate in Hong Kong (Mansung) but I saw it before.

    OCI is termed specially for you and you’re the first one nick named as OCI, old Chinese immigrant. haha.

    This is my blog with a lot of jokes (a lot frm Steve and some FMers) http://tonyp4joke.blogspot.com. Enjoy it. If you do not get a laugh out of it, I’ll refund your money, or you should check in to the closest hospital to find out what’s wrong with you. haha.

  6. berlinf Says:

    I used to work for a consulting firm that has an acronym for every function, and every region, such as SH for Shanghai, BJ for Beijing, HK for Hongkong and TP for Taipei, and RI for research and investigation. And these become short forms for email lists too, such as TPRI would refer to all Researchers and Investigators in Taipei. As you can imagine, Shanghai IT department is not very happy about the system.

  7. berlinf Says:

    PHD also refers to: Please hire, desperate.

  8. TonyP4 Says:

    PHD is the instruction for camera – Press Here Dummy.

  9. Steve Says:

    @ TonyP4 #2: Tony, I’m sorry but I had to delete the last paragraph of that joke. We have to be consistent wtih the profanity on all threads since arbitrary enforcement isn’t fair to the others. I also had to delete the last word of berlinf’s post for the same reason, but I think we can all figure out his meaning. 😉

    I received that same joke from a friend of mine in NJ a few weeks ago and thought it was pretty clever. To answer your question, “shaft” is an informal meaning for harsh, unfair treatment. Often used with “the” as in “The president of the airline really gave the unions the shaft.”

    @ berlinf #7: That’s a good one!

  10. Steve Says:

    A few more:

    KISS: Keep It Simple, Stupid
    BIBLE: Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth
    BUFF: Big Ugly Fat Fellow
    SUV: Stupid Useless Vehicle
    MBA: Mediocre But Arrogant
    NIKE: Needs International Kids Employed
    DHL: Driver Halfway Lost
    UPS: United Package Smashers
    MARINE: Muscles Are Required, Intelligence Not Essential
    TSA: Thousands Stand Around
    NFL: No Fun League
    VIP: Very Impatient Pest
    FEMA: Federal Employees Missing Again
    GOP: Greedy Old People
    IRAQ: I Run And Quit
    PETA: People Eating Tasty Animals
    LASER: Looking At Source Erases Retina
    NYU: Now You’re Unemployed
    SDSU: Still Drunk, Still Undeclared
    UCR: University of Chinese Refugees
    UCSB: University of Casual Sex and Beer
    USC: University of Spoiled Children
    AWA: America’s Worst Airline
    KLM: Keeps Losing Money
    QUANTAS: Quick And Nasty Transportation, Australian Style
    QUANTAS: Quite A Nice Trip, Any Survivors?
    TWA: Third World Airlines
    DELTA: Diverts Everyone’s Luggage To Atlanta
    JAGUAR: Just At Garage Undergoing Another Repair
    FIAT: Fix It Again Tomorrow
    TIP: To Insure Promptness
    FART: Fecal Air, Rectally Transmitted

  11. HongKonger Says:


    I tried leaving the comment (a joke) below at your site following the one joke about Women always giving back more. Like give a woman some sperm she gives you back a baby, give them a house they turn it into a home, give them some groacery & they make you a meal etc., so beware, if you give them shit, they’ll multiply that and dump them back on you. But being a dummy with anything technical (IT being one), I failed. So I am posting it here instead.

    This joke was sent to me by a a friend, an ex-colleague and a smart woman:


    “One day, long, long time ago, there lived a woman who did not whine, nag, or bitch..

    (picture of a woman in a dress sitting on a chair with her legs crossed and a lit cigarette between her fingers. Think an elderly Sharon Stone in her ‘Basic Instinct’ pose.)

    But it was a long time ago, and it was just that one day.”

    The End

  12. HongKonger Says:

    AIG: Another Ingurgitating Group
    ICBM: In Coming Bloody Mess.
    DELTA: Departed Early Last To Arrive
    ECHO: Eyes Closed Hold On.
    NASA: No Astraunauts Should Attempt
    DEFCON: Disseminate Extensive Fearsome Confusions on Nation
    ELECTION: Elaborate Long Embezzlment Carnival To Impoverish Our Nation

  13. Mikhail Says:

    It just goes to show, you can’t be to careful

  14. TonyP4 Says:

    HKer, funny. I put this in already. I believe you need a gmail account. That joke was sent by Steve and I still have a lot of jokes from Steve. He should be a co-owner of my blog. Thanks, Steve.

    Steve, you may need to publish all the words classified as profanity – one’s treasure is another’s garbage. haha. So, if you need to see the whole joke (my moral standard is very low), you can click on TonyP4.

    Steve, your joke here and other will be included in my blog if no objection from you, when I’m not busy after filing the stupid income tax.

  15. TonyP4 Says:

    @HKer, #5 ‘smart woman’.

    According to my world (male, biased and stupid), all women are divided into “beautiful” and “not beautiful”.

    The “not beautiful” are sub divided as “smart”, “educated”, “tall”, “thin”, “cute”, “young”, “rich”, “sociable”…

    There is no need to sub divide “beautiful” women.

    Sorry to offend half (or one quarter depending whether you like flattering) of the world population in one sentence. 🙂

  16. HongKonger Says:

    Tony # 15:

    LMAO….Brilliant ! I will remember to share that all with my male friends and compliment my beautiful female friends with your excellent joke. Cheers.

  17. HongKonger Says:

    Pickup Lines and comebacks

    Man: = “So what do you do for a living?”
    Woman: “I’m a female impersonator.”

    Man: = “What sign were you born under?” Woman: “No Parking.”

    Man: = “Hey, baby, what’s your sign?” Woman: “Do not Enter”

    Man: = “How do you like your eggs in the morning?”
    Woman:”Unfertilized !”

    Man: = “Hey, come on, we’re both here at this bar for the same reason”
    Woman: “Yeah! Let’s pick up some chicks!”

    Man: = “I know how to please a woman.” Woman: “Then please leave me alone.”

    Man: = “I want to give myself to you.” Woman: “Sorry, I don’t accept cheap gifts.”

    Man: = “If I could see you naked, I’d die happy.” Woman: “Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I’d probably die laughing.”

    Man: = “Your body is like a temple.” Woman: “Sorry, there are no services today.”

    Man: =”Haven’t we met before?” Woman: “Yes, I’m the receptionist at the VD Clinic.”

    Man: =”Haven’t I seen you someplace before?
    Woman: “Yeah,that’s why I don’t go there anymore.”

    Man: = “Is this seat empty?” Woman: “Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.”

    Man: = “Your place or mine?”
    Woman: “Both. You go to yours and I’ll go to mine.”

    Man: = “I’d go through anything for you.”
    Woman: “Good! Let’s start with your bank account.”

  18. TonyP4 Says:

    @HKer, #16.

    Thanks for the encouragement and your remark on ‘smart woman’ inspired me to write the joke. I do not know whether it is good or bad – thanks for the vote. I think it is original but I could have written it unknowingly copying others’ joke as it is quite a simple joke that may have been told already.

    The joke can be worked the other way round by taking all ‘wo’ away or substitute ‘women’ with ‘men’. haha.

    I include yours in my blog too. This one is passed to me and is really funny http://tonyp4joke.blogspot.com/2009/03/new-student-our-100th-joke-very-funny.html.

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