(Letter) Avoid East – West deadend conversations
Westerner: I am in your wonderful country because I hate my current (Bush) administration. Besides at home, no girls that look anything like the girls that’d talk to me here would even shoot me a glance.
Easterner: Yeah, cause you are fat, fatherly and cuddly.
Westerner: Hey, I’m just big bone. Compared to your malnourished frame, everyone’s fat.
Easterner: Whatever. Anyway, I hate your warmongering administration too, that’s why I am in YOUR wonderful country – I mean, in all its short fart in human history, America has only been attacked, like twice? The first time the Japanese did it, you guys freaking nuked them TWICE for sinking a few ships! And ever since, America has been at war around the freaking world, but hey, see how America prosper because of, oh, I mean, in spite of that? So, I think I am safer in your country.
Westerner: Well, actually, I think your government sucks, your people and your customs uncouth. In the West, for example, we would never ask about someone’s salary, tell people that they are fat and ugly, or honk the car horn incessantly, or let our babies defecate in public. You know what I mean?
I mean why don’t women shave their armpits and men trim their nostril hair – it is really disgusting.
Easterner: It’s true, here in your country, people are so polite, clean and sterile to the point of ignoring your existence once you’ve outlived your utilitarian output, whereas the same group of human folks are greatly honored, loved and treasured in my culture.
Westerner: Oh, you mean our senior citizens? Don’t ya think they’re better off living with people their own age? I love my parents, but am glad we are an ocean apart.
Easterner: Whatever the hell makes you westerners think that? These elderly folks sacrificed and lived all their younger lives for people much younger than themselves. Now, why would they want to go live among strangers now that they are weaker and perhaps infirmed? Where is the human and animal rights, and Christian charity, and all that hoots and howlers that we keep hearing about in the east from the west? Whatever happened to simple, natural family love?
Westerner: You people are so used to being oppressed. No wonder you people see nothing wrong with the paternalistic CCP – We need our freedom, our space – our parents raised us to be free and we are used to having a lot of personal space.
Easterner: Free to do what? Free to force feed and bully-change other people’s perception, values and all? Then kill or ostracize ‘em if they don’t comply? Like the west sanctioned China for decades and then now can’t stop blaming Mao for China being economically backwards. The bamboo-curtain was not put up by China , but slammed shut and locked from the outside to starve the Chinese out. Look at communist Cuba . It is not that alternative ideologies don’t work, but because the West will not allow them to flourish by imposing sanctions; sabotaging any such efforts.
Westerner: We gotta keep the balance. Someone’s gotta police world politics. We happen to have the means and know-how.
Easterner: The west is free to practice nuclear proliferation whereas the rest must comply to non Nuclear proliferation rules set up by those with the most WMDs – WTF?
Westerner: Sorry, even your former chairman agreed on the truth of ‘power through the barrel of the gun; he who has the gold makes the rule.
Easterner: Let’s change subject. I am glad China is the host of this Olympics.
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