Aug 10

(Letter) Avoid East – West deadend conversations

Written by guest on Sunday, August 10th, 2008 at 2:22 am
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One of the Most common type of East – West deadend conversations 🙂 Avoid it if you want to make friends and influence people. 😉

Westerner: I am in your wonderful country because I hate my current (Bush) administration. Besides at home, no girls that look anything like the girls that’d talk to me here would even shoot me a glance.

Easterner: Yeah, cause you are fat, fatherly and cuddly.

Westerner: Hey, I’m just big bone. Compared to your malnourished frame, everyone’s fat.

Easterner: Whatever. Anyway, I hate your warmongering administration too, that’s why I am in YOUR wonderful country – I mean, in all its short fart in human history, America has only been attacked, like twice? The first time the Japanese did it, you guys freaking nuked them TWICE for sinking a few ships! And ever since, America has been at war around the freaking world, but hey, see how America prosper because of, oh, I mean, in spite of that? So, I think I am safer in your country.

Westerner: Well, actually, I think your government sucks, your people and your customs uncouth. In the West, for example, we would never ask about someone’s salary, tell people that they are fat and ugly, or honk the car horn incessantly, or let our babies defecate in public. You know what I mean?

I mean why don’t women shave their armpits and men trim their nostril hair – it is really disgusting.

Easterner: It’s true, here in your country, people are so polite, clean and sterile to the point of ignoring your existence once you’ve outlived your utilitarian output, whereas the same group of human folks are greatly honored, loved and treasured in my culture.

Westerner: Oh, you mean our senior citizens? Don’t ya think they’re better off living with people their own age? I love my parents, but am glad we are an ocean apart.

Easterner: Whatever the hell makes you westerners think that? These elderly folks sacrificed and lived all their younger lives for people much younger than themselves. Now, why would they want to go live among strangers now that they are weaker and perhaps infirmed? Where is the human and animal rights, and Christian charity, and all that hoots and howlers that we keep hearing about in the east from the west? Whatever happened to simple, natural family love?

Westerner: You people are so used to being oppressed. No wonder you people see nothing wrong with the paternalistic CCP – We need our freedom, our space – our parents raised us to be free and we are used to having a lot of personal space.

Easterner: Free to do what? Free to force feed and bully-change other people’s perception, values and all? Then kill or ostracize ‘em if they don’t comply? Like the west sanctioned China for decades and then now can’t stop blaming Mao for China being economically backwards. The bamboo-curtain was not put up by China , but slammed shut and locked from the outside to starve the Chinese out. Look at communist Cuba . It is not that alternative ideologies don’t work, but because the West will not allow them to flourish by imposing sanctions; sabotaging any such efforts.

Westerner: We gotta keep the balance. Someone’s gotta police world politics. We happen to have the means and know-how.

Easterner: The west is free to practice nuclear proliferation whereas the rest must comply to non Nuclear proliferation rules set up by those with the most WMDs – WTF?

Westerner: Sorry, even your former chairman agreed on the truth of ‘power through the barrel of the gun; he who has the gold makes the rule.

Easterner: Let’s change subject. I am glad China is the host of this Olympics.

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17 Responses to “(Letter) Avoid East – West deadend conversations”

  1. TommyBahamas Says:

    Yeah, ditto, for years I have been saying people are people, whatever our skin color and political persuations. We are all great in something and guilty of something.
    Human beings in every nation have a great capacity for doing evil, like abusing power and authority. in my own city there have been a number of police killings of black citizens that outraged our city, citing police brutality and excessive use of unnecessary force. an investigation typically follows suit and then typically the accused officer is acquitted. which further outrages police watchdog groups and citizen coalitions. But most of us, most of the time, to be utterly honest, do not want to think about the possibility of living in a society where those in power abuse the weak and prey on the poor and uneducated. It is a sound bite on a newscast before a beer commercial. We feel mildly remorseful that something bad has happened, and then, like young children, blindly trust that those with parental-like power will rightly take care of things. Racial injustice? Abuse of authority? Police homicide? Unthinkable in our white middle-class existence where the police cruise our neighborhoods and give a friendly wave.

    BTW, your “Easterner” is probably, statistically speaking, SAFER in China!

    Comedian Dave Chapelle has a bit about black people and the police………

  2. Smith Says:

    What a post??
    Full of stereotype… Quite aggressive against Westerners/Americans, full of bullshit.
    Ugly foreigners stealing good looking girls, even the ugly foreigners do not rape of force Chinese girl to be with them.
    Focus on USA and call Westerners… sorry there is also Europe, south America, etc…
    Focus on Chinese and call them Easterners…. Japanese (also Easterner, are quite civilized/文明 comparing with Chinese, and have a political system closer to the west than to China…including freedoms)
    Saying that foreigner are happy to live far away the parents…
    Do you forget that official Nuclear power also include China?
    Chinese complaining that USA kick the ass of Jap during world war two… quite funny, when we see that without USA china will have either loose either had war for much much longer and loose much much more life fighting Japanese.

  3. Hongkonger Says:

    @ Smith, Can’t agree with you more, the fact that it is a conversation full of stereotypical bullshit – Indeed, similar deadend conversation such as the above and similar comments are posted over and over again in many China blogs – the likes of which are Best to never take place henceforth. Enjoy the Olympics and
    ditto to TB: “people are people, whatever our skin color and political persuations. We are all great in something and guilty of something.” PEACE

  4. Hemulen Says:

    Gasp. This wasn’t even funny. And if you want to get the argument about elderly care right, you may want to consider the fact that a lot of old people in the “West” DON’T WANT to live with their children.

  5. TB Says:

    @Hemulen – Indeed, it is not funny WHENEVER such dialogues occur. The post however is meant to be satirical because of how ridiculous a lot of such conversations / debates take place everyday between people and on blogs. Hence, the title: One of the Most common type of East – West deadend conversations – Avoid it if you want to make friends and influence people.

  6. yo Says:

    Just out of curiosity, since this is a humor/stereotype post, everyone here familiar with Dave Chapelle?

  7. Hemulen Says:

    …another thing worth considering when we set up the stereotype of the “selfish” Westerner vs the “family-oriented” Easterner is child-care. The same Easterner who complains that Westerners disregard their parents, would send his own children to a boarding school or to live with his parents far away, perhaps not seeing them more than once or twice a year. You’ll ask this person if his kids like this arrangement, and he’ll say “They’re OK.” Did he ask what they thought? Of course not. No one asks what anyone thinks, you just act on expectation. These kinds of arrangements often grow out of necessity and not culture, but I feel that to accuse Westerners of not paying attention to family is uncalled-for. It just seems that people in China and West often make different choices when it come to which generation takes priority…

  8. Hongkonger Says:


    I remember Dave Chapelle appeared in a few movies like Con air, You’ve got mail, and Dave Chapelle’s block party about 2 years ago.

    This guy’s prettty funny too, Edwin San Juan: Laughing at Stereotypes


  9. Smith Says:

    About this Elder/family stereotype: that Westerners do not care.
    I think about it every time I see old people in shanghai looking inside trash to try to find some stuff for them to survive… Thus I think often about it. Many Chinese will take care about their own parent, but no care so much for other old people.
    Speaking about youth, so many parents in China can see their kids once a year, because of hukou system they kids can not come study in the city the parent work. and so many parent give their kids to be educated by the grand parent.

    Each country has his problem and his great things… but we are not all the same whatever culture, religion… otherwise their will be only one culture and not different cultures 😉 and that make this world interesting.

  10. AS Says:

    The fact of the matter is Eastern women and girls prefer Western men. Western men are taller, stronger, more “manly”. They are more honest to their women than Eastern men, they show them more care, and they dedicate themselves to their women completely and totally.

    Eastern men have a lot to learn if they hope to keep their women.

  11. TB Says:

    “The fact of the matter is Eastern women and girls prefer Western men.”

    Another “imagined” case for “facts.” = Stereotyping / Prejudice

  12. MoneyBall Says:

    what is the West? Smith, Hemulen and AS is the west.

    bitches are gonna say oh they are just themselves…no they aint, they just stopped pretending.

    who represents the West? John Edwards.

    bitches are gonna say oh he’s just himself….no he aint, the only difference is he got caught.

  13. yo Says:

    Hong Konger,

    Did you catch “black bush” or “Clayton Bigsby”?

    You are going to wet yourself 🙂

  14. MutantJedi Says:


    Was that a shark that just swam by?

  15. Hongkonger Says:


    Yeah, those are some very funny guys.

    So are Tom Cooke & George Carlin (God rest his soul)


  16. Hongkonger Says:

    “another thing worth considering when we set up the stereotype of the “selfish” Westerner ”

    Well said, Hermulen. Here’s 70 year Old “Old F**K” George Carlin to prove your anti-stereotype (good) point:


  17. KONG Says:

    Wow, here’s a whole different angle I found elsewhere from an overseas Chinese:


    Nationalism is a time-tested tool the big bourgeoisie
    and their megacorp propaganda mouthpieces has been
    using to inculcate among ordinary working-class
    citizenry the feeling that the capitalist state
    represents their highest interest and aspiration. It
    is used to consciously engender among ordinary workers
    and citizenries from the heartlands of the major
    capitalist empire ruling the gobal market, this
    patriarchal macho ego sh*t regarding their country/
    nation /culure /religion is the best ever
    and all the rest are inferior.
    Now go ask the peasant-workers who got canned after
    all the pork-barrel BOG projects were done and sent
    packing home to “clean up the air / act and uncouth peasants”
    in Beijing: “aren’t you proud that our country is
    hosting the OG?” I dare bet the response from most
    would be “where are we going to get the money to buy
    us food and pay rent for hanging around
    expensive Beijing with no paid work?
    Look behind the capitalist megacorp hype and the
    picture will be world’s apart.

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